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the blog with two legs
STOPPING THE EVIL ALIEN MIND-CONTROL RAYS
So how come I still keep hearing the voices?
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JINGS! CRIVVENS! SCOTS LIB DEMS NAME NEW LEADER
After the disastrous results at the recent elections and the resignation of their leader, Tavish Scott, the Scottish Liberal Democrats have a new leader. The UK is, obviously, reeling at this momentous change.
It's heartening to see they've picked such a popular and recognisable Scot this...
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A NICE BIT OF STONE-CLADDING ©™ - Part 9
Yes, it's another Sunny Soaraway Stone-Cladding Sunday!
We've come to the conclusion that they can't help it.
People are strange, and no matter how they try to hide their strangeness from the rest of us, out it will pop like an electric weasel from their top pocket waving a big flag that says...
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HAGUE IN FAVOUR OF AV?
Well, well, well!
Tuning in to the BBC News this evening we were surprised - we could almost use the word 'mugged' - by William Hague making a speech at the Lord Mayor's Easter Banquet. Now there's a man that likes the sound of his own very strange little voice, sounding all the world like a...
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THE PRICE OF DEMOCRACY
There's something puzzling us about this AV vote this week that we don't think has been explored properly yet. The 'No' side are saying 'Oooh, we shouldn't use AV, it'll be more expensive to count the votes'.
Since when should how expensive democracy is be an issue? When our forefathers fought...
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A NICE BIT OF STONE-CLADDING ©™ - Part 8
Yes, it's another Sunny Soaraway Stone-Cladding Sunday!
Sorry for starting with what seems like a repeat, but please be patient and read on!
Remember this?
__________________________________________
Now, houses with A Nice Bit Of Stone-Cladding! ©™ are special. Very special. But some are more...
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WATERCOLOURS AT THE TATE
So, to the Tate Gallery for the Watercolours exhibition. I hadn't realised she'd made that much money being in a mediocre comedy series and then Doctor Who, but I guess that's the BBC's superstar salaries for you.
It was pleasantly surprising to see that some of these painter johnnies had scaled...
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BREAD AND CIRCUSES
'Nuff said.
(Thanks, T.)
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PRINCE WILLIAM SHOULD HAVE MARRIED YEARS AGO
I am not a happy bunny this morning. As Royal Wedding Correspondent for The Blog With Two Legs I have to write about the blasted event in the run up to The Big Day. Let me make my stance clear:
1. I don’t care much for weddings, especially when more than 10 people are involved.
2. I don’t care...
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PRINCE CHARLES: NUMBER ONE ALSO-RAN
Prince Charles has got to have one of the crappest jobs going. True, it’s nowhere near as grim as emptying bins or processing sewerage, but being named the Longest Serving Heir Apparent is the biggest kick in the teeth I can think of. They may as well have called him the 'Number One Also–Ran'.
He...
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BBC ENGLISH part 2
The Blog With Two Legs recently identified that the BBC News service is committing crimes against the English Language so heinous, I for one would consider going back to the Daily Sport for my news were it possible.
When The Blog With Two Legs demonstrated a deterioration in spelling which could,...
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ADDICT QUEEN CORNERS BIRTHDAY MARKET
Today is Maundy Thursday, a day when the Queen celebrates the memory of the Last Supper by a ceremonial 'giving of alms'. The BBC will be, as they say, covering the celebration. They have Nicholas Witchell eagerly reporting from an open-air platform in Westminster.
Apparently - and we must...
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Rest In Peace
Elisabeth Sladen
1948-2011
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A NICE BIT OF STONE-CLADDING ©™ - Part 7
Yes, it's another Sunny Soaraway Stone-Cladding Sunday!
Now, a lot of times when we bring you the latest architastrophe we've spotted whilst out and about our fair Londonshire, we point out - as we did last week - that not only is it ugly, but how much it stands out from any more tasteful...
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BERLUSCONI: The Shagger's Conundrum
Italian hot-stuff premier Silvio Berlusconi was recently quoted in The Sunday Times as saying:
'When asked if they would like to have sex with me, 30% of women said ‘Yes’, while the other 70% replied: ‘What, again?’ '
Since reading that quote, I have been able to think of little else. I have...
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A MAN, A VAN, AND A...?
It's amazing what you can order over the internet these days.
We didn't see inside, but all we can imagine is a plethora of hoses, nozzles and tubes of sealant...
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WE THANK YOU!
HUGE THANK YOUS to all our wonderful readers for propelling us to the Number 2 spot in the worldwide 'blogrankings' humour chart, and Number 3 in the worlwide 'blogtopsites' humour chart!
From about 40 hits a day less than a month ago when we resumed service, in the first two hours of today alone...
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A NICE BIT OF STONE-CLADDING ©™ - Part 6
Yes, it's another Sunny Soaraway Stone-Cladding Sunday!
Take a look at this smile:
Now, it's not perfect, but it's by no means unpleasant. Sure, there's a little natural discolouration, some tiny imperfections, but generally speaking it's perfectly acceptable; clean, healthy and natural.
So if...
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BBC ENGLISH
Some time ago the BBC was considered a bastion of the English language. Obviously, the days of the 'Received Pronunciation' accent are long gone, but it now seems that the standards of written communication are slipping too.
This is most obvious on the BBC news channel. Grammar is a luxury that...
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HOW TO ACHIEVE PEACE WITH LIBYA
A little while ago when North Korea was being a bit tiresome, we encouraged all you wonderful readers to send Kim Jong-il a kitten immediately (HOW TO ACHIEVE PEACE WITH NORTH KOREA), and then also threatened to unleash the Deadly Assassin Killer Kittens on him (HOW TO ACHIEVE PEACE WITH NORTH...
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EBAY AUCTION OF THE WEEK #02 (Male Vocalist)
Wandering through the Land of Ebay, this caught our eye. It's an auction seemingly placed by someone - a Male Vocalist - looking to attract other musicians to play with.
What a picture to use when he's trying to attract other band members, other musicians.
Cold eyes.
Dead eyes.
Cold, dead...
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EBAY AUCTION OF THE WEEK #01b (Orla Organ) UPDATE!
We can hardly believe it! Despite all the extra publicity last week, including winning our first "Ebay Auction Of The Week", kitrule didn't manage to sell some of the wonderful things he had on offer. Now's your chance to snap up a bargain!
New "Mystery Items" have joined the list, like a Brass...
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A CABINET OF HORROR
And talking about Paradeilia*, as we so surely were when we mentioned the "house that looks like Hitler" that was in the news last week as well as "The Gingerbread Hitlers", here's another paradeilic object:
It's A Cabinet of Horror.
Here, it looks like an ordinary piece of furniture, of no...
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LOOKS LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON'S PET IS IN A JAM
So THAT's what happened to Bubbles the chimp!
And who's to say this isn't what Michael would have wanted - having Bubbles spread every morning? He'd be licking his lips in anticipation - and afterwards too, probably, since it can be messy and sticky.
P.S. - More Michael Jackson posts HERE!
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TASTELESS OR TASTY?
And talking about Paradeilia*, as we so surely were when we mentioned the "house that looks like Hitler" that's been in the news this week, it's not just houses that can look like Hitler. The clues are all there in the next picture.
* enjoying hanging out in an Alpine scene... check!
* black...
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