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My Chinese WifeChinese Dragon Woman who seeks the Impossible Man
It has been a while since I last updated this blog.
This article about a modern age gold-digger grabbed my attention, for obvious reasons, as it fits in well with a stereotype that I have now developed as a result of my experience being married to a Chinese born wife.
This stereotype is neither politically correct nor fair, but unfortunately it is what it is, and stories like the one below only
The Inevitable Consequence
My wife is currently in China on holidays. She is with my son. She has gone with my blessing and my support.
It is a positive thing, given what we have just gone through recently. The fact that I agreed for my child to go oversease to a country like China without my presence, indicates something positive in an otherwise gloomy recent past.
What I mean by this should become very clear soon.
I
Don't Ask, Don't Tell
My wife and I have come to an uncomfortable truce, one borne out of necessity rather than preference.
I guess it kind of operates like the Bill Clinton Military policy on gays, where it was a case of "Don't ask, don't tell".
For my part I have come to this point purely as a case of exhaustion, and my strong belief that if I push this issue any further I will simply be labelled a jealous and
Hymn of the Tiger Mother
I post an article about the Parenting styles of Chinese mothers, a topic that has received a lot of press recently. I have thought about this topic extensively, given that I have a young son. I wish to elaborate on my views and experiences on the topic of parenting, in particular the cultural influences and values that tend to have an overwhelming impact on our parenting styles. But first an
Song of the Sirens
Well, I finally have my wife's banking details. She has saved a lot of money over the course of our marriage, and before. I did not expect her to so casually provide her bank account details to me, especially given her refusal to do so in the past, but she probably thought she had no choice. This surprisingly does not make me feel relieved or satisfied. In fact I feel more frustrated than ever,
We bought a new house, but…
Well, we just bought a new house. Its actually quite big, even majestic really. It cost an absolute fortune. I was happy where we lived, but my wife wanted opulence. We will move in the next few months. However my wife and I have come to an impasse. My wife’s salary goes into a separate bank account, and despite my best efforts, its always been kept out of my reach. In fact I don’t even know
Mr Cat, meet Mr Pidgeon
"Mr Cat, meet Mr Pidgeon...the rest I leave to you." So goes the old saying, which indicates the strong order of things that seem to drive so much of the human condition. Much like the laws of nature, so with humans, our likes, our reactions, our affiliations and our nemeses. Or so I thought. A few months ago I started seeing a new patient, an elderly Chinese man who was suffering from
The Lingering Dream
Things have pretty much settled down in my relationship, at least that's what I have been telling myself. However I have recently had a very vivid dream which has kinda thrown things upside down for me, at least emotionally. I am still baffled as to what it means, and why it has appeared now. My dream has me separated from my wife, contemplating my future. In reality I am 7 years younger
Struggles of a bi-lingual child
One of the advantages of having a euro-asian child, as I see it, is the opportunity for the child to learn two languages from a very young age, and possibly optimising the child’s intellectual capacity at a time when the child has capacity to spare. Because of my mother-in-law, my child learned to speak Mandarin in parallel with his English from the start. This may or may not explain why my
Talking & hearing Chinese
I was always quite good at school. I excelled in maths and physics, biology and chemistry, but always did exceptionally well in English. When I went to University I also studied French as an aside, foolishly believing at the stage that French was still an important language to learn. To my credit I picked it up rather quickly, and can still speak it well today. So you may think that I have an
Taking off my shoes in the house
Like most Australians I have always worn my footwear in the house. As a young boy the only time there was an issue with footwear in the house was when there was mud on my shoes. When I initially met my future wife, as a matter of courtesy and respect I would always take my shoes off before entering her unit. I did this as a show of respect for her property, her unit, her home. It did not occur
Racism or just Parental Anxiety
We recently went away for a long weekend.
It was me, my wife and our son. My mother-in-law went to stay with her son for a week.
We travelled up north and had a really great time. We drove up the coast casually, taking our time and seeing the sights.
We finally got to the Gold Coast in Queensland, and this part of the trip was our son's favourite.
He got to go to Movie World, Sea World and
Re-writing history
I have been very confused lately.
I don't know if somehow things have settled down and life goes on as normal, or whether I am simply fooling myself.
My state of mind is earily similar to a friend of mine who a few years ago separated from his wife.
His wife was Russian, and they did not go through the typical courtship process.
My friend had previously got an Australian woman pregnant, and
Paranoid delusions and fear of Abduction
In the past I have tolerated my wife's quirk's, and I viewed them as managable little issues that would resolve themselves with a dose of common sense.
Maybe I have been too tolerant however, and just maybe, these little quirk's were something more than that, maybe even something pathalogic like a paranoid disorder.
One example for instance hapenned not that long ago, but this is just one of
Outsourcing children to be raised in China
Well, even though we have technically reconciled, it seems that every second day I have to put out a new spot fire.
I do not seem to be able to get any respite within this relationship.
My wife has now come to the conclusion that our son needs to be taken to China and left there for four years, so that he can learn Mandarin proper.
When my son was just born, we went through a similar episode
Response to some questions
I am grateful to the feedback I have been getting, both from males and females.
It gives me an opportunity to reconsider my own thinking, being fully aware how humans can get things so wrong sometimes.
I am also a very insular kind of guy, so I have no one to talk to about these things. In my world, men unfortunately just don't talk about these things.
(1) Regarding one suggestion to talk to
Marriage in Distress
Well, a lot has happened since my last post.
For the longest time it seemed that I simply would not muster up the courage to raise these lingering issues with my wife.
However an opportunity arose by chance, when mother-in-law decided at the last minute to visit Brisbane for a week, in order see family. We decided that it would a great holiday for our son as well, who was on school holidays.
Last night while she was in the shower...
I have been struggling with this emotional distress now for quite some time, and what seems to be bothering me the most is the "not knowing" bit.
Its a terrible way to live ones life.
For the most part I just pretend everything is normal, but this uncertainty is just eating away at me.
Part of me oddly prefers the anguish of not-knowing, for fear of what I may find out if I look further. By
The new friend
My apologies for keeping everyone waiting.
It has been a very strange period for me lately. I am a neurologist and see patients daily who are suffering from terrible afflictions caused by injuries or illnesses like catastrophic head injuries, strokes, Parkinsons disease and Alzheimers.
I need to have constant attention to detail, as I am dealing with quality of life, and in some cases life
The Hotmail account
Well, I can at least say that my weekend was eventful.Matters have been somewhat of a stalemate for a while now, but last weekend something changed.I am yet however to work out whether things have changed for the better or worse.It all began on the Saturday. We were all ill with cold, so we decided to take a nap in the afternoon.My mother-in-law went to bed, I put our son to bed, and my wife and
Nothing is clearer, it is just a stalemate for now
Well, since my episode of paranoia, nothing has happened to clarify matters.I tried to talk to my wife once about my concerns, but she was completely dismissive. Before I had even had a chance to explain my concern, she responded with:"Oh your just being silly!"...and she walked away.So I get the feeling that she does not want to discuss the matter, or that it simply does not register for her and
The mobile phone and the private messages
Well, the rational part of me keeps telling me that I am just being silly.I have always been someone who doesn't jump to conclusions, who always believes that there is a sensible explanation for most things, and who is not possessive or jealous.And I have been married for ten years with no concerns about infidelity.However my wife and I have been having some real issues of late.Now all marriages
Chinese people and Anglo names
Australia is a multi-cultural country. You come across people from many different cultural backgrounds here.We of course have the Europeans, which comprised originally of peoples from Anglo backgrounds, followed later by Continental Europeans.More recently we have had an influx of Asians, comprising primarily of Indians and Chinese, amongst others.What I find suprising is that even though the
We have been arguing lately
My wife and I have been having a number of arguments lately.It all began when we started looking for a new house. We have outgrown our current residence, and with our boy getting to an age when he is always running around, we decided it was time to find a house with a big backyard.Well all well and good, and given my income, we may not even need to sell the home we currently live in.Well that's
DNA envy and the dinner conversation
We recently went to a friend's house for dinner. They were celebrating their 10 year wedding anniversary, although they lived together for a further 5 years.Invited that evening were another 3 couples, all being doctors and doctors wives (2 of those wives were also doctors).The couple celebrating their anniversary are a very loving couple, he being a surgeon and she being a stay at home mother.
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